New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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