Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
