I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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