My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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