if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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