1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
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What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
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We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
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