..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
