this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
