I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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