Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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