no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize