What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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