i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i think my mom watched the whole time
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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