Banned from zoo.
Again?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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