I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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