I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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