1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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