Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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