She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
