Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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