Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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