She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
