When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
