Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize