About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
