I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
