my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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