like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
