you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
