My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
