i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
