question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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