You know, be my cock's hype man.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize