I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
