someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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