just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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