eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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