You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Randomize
