we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize