Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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