Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I have tasted many bathrooms
The air taste purple.
Randomize
