The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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