let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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