So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
