Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
