I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
