she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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