That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
