loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
