i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
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on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
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I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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