You work out of a Hotel?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
