Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
