spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
