Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize