My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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