who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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