but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
