so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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