oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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