Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
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