she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm passing your future prison.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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