we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I have aggressive nipples.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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